Absilog

Oh hey! January's almost ending and.. and.. I don't know what happened. Oh wait, 2017 happened. 2017 was better than I imagined it to be. It started a bit down and then slow but ended with a bang. I have never appreciated rainbows as much as I have appreciated them last year. You truly can't have a rainbow without a little (or a lot) of rain. Bear with me. LOL. I know I wasn't the best person back in 2016, and it has probably made an impact on my relationship with people close to me. And that affected my 2017 too. Something happened and it made doubt myself as a person. Was I not good enough? What did I do to deserve this? Do I deserve this? When did it start? Am I a bad person? Do other people feel the same way? And so many other questions. So I did what I usually do during times like this, I diverted my attention and I focused on other things to keep my mind sane. 😅 Work has been well. What supposed to be a 6 month contract, ended up with a couple of mont...

"Why don't you post pictures of us?" "If I post photos of you, people would ask" "So?" "Because I don't know what to tell them" "..." "Don't say anything, because I also don't know if I'm ready for your answer." And we never talked about it ever.

I can't believe that the first quarter of this year is already ending! A lot has happened in 3 months and fortunately, the good things outweighs the bad. 2017 is proving to be better than what I have expected amidst bumps. So updates and lots of pictures. I started to learn how to play the ukulele Day 2. Still having a hard time using ukulele chords. Minsan guitar chords nagagamit ko. I also need to learn the other chords and different techniques. Sana di ako tamarin. Hahaha A post shared by Abi Corpus (@absilog) on Jan 17, 2017 at 4:39am PST I reached week 12 of the Dogwood challenge! I think this is the longest I've reached in a photography challenge Read one book a month! A post shared by Abi Corpus (@absilog) on Feb 1, 2017 at 11:26pm PST Finally got to see the Banksy exhibit A- fucking - Dele! Undeniably the largest concert I've been to A post shared by Abi Corpus (@absilog) on Mar 18, 2017 at 10:22pm P...

She had dreams where she can jump as high as she can. Sometimes as high as the clouds. She can jump so high, but she can never fly. She has to come down at some point in time. She had dreams where she is free falling from the sky, not knowing from where, not knowing where she'll land, just falling, falling, falling through the clouds. Doing nothing except wondering when and where she will land. She had dreams where she is running away, not knowing from what. Running so fast that her leg hurts and she's having a hard time catching her breath. But not to the point that she can not run anymore. The uncertainty in her dreams reflects in her real life. That's why sometimes she doesn't want to sleep, or stay awake.

"You see those stars? They say those are Thiazi's eyes" "Thiazi?" "Father of Skadi, who is the step mom of Frey" "Ah.. I don't know what you're talking about" "There are other worlds out there, and I find it sad that we're just stuck here." "Mm-hm" "Mm-hm?" "I don't believe in other worlds. I think this IS it and I wouldn't have it any other way."

It's actually hard to write about 2016. I guess we all know how 2016 really is. It wasn't that great tbh. But guess what, we survived. I guess that counts for something. It was the year I stepped out of my comfort zone and I'm still adjusting. Being far from home isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I miss my cats, family and friends. Back home, I was never alone and lonely at the same time (or at least I can't remember the last time), but I felt it this year. Not to mention the passing of one of my favorite people, my Lolo. I was so scared of how 2016 was turning out to be that I was so paranoid, I thought that anything I do would turn out really bad. It's like the whole year was in mercury retrograde. I don't know what is in store for me in 2017 but I hope it would be awesome. I mean the last 2 weeks of 2016 was actually better than what I have expected. I'm crossing my fingers that it continues to go up next year. So how can I wrap up this ye...

We were supposed to watch a late night movie but your car won't start so we just stayed there. Instead of going back inside, we lost track of time discussing things that we never get tired of talking about and the topics that branches out of that, basically talking about everything and anything.  Before we knew it, the sun was almost rising and our throat's about to dry out. "You always force me to do things that aren't part of the plan" "You can always be firm in saying 'no'. But you're too easy to break." "It's because I get to spend that time with you" And that's when I realised that I love you. No, I actually already knew, but more of convinced myself to accept that I do love you. And I may regret it, but I did not say anything. I just smiled and dozed to sleep.

John Turner made us laugh. He knows the right witty lines to say. He brightens up your day with his quips and jokes. He is loyal and would do anything to bring a smile to your face. Life of the party, that is John Turner. I'm in no way related or know who Mr. John Turner Bamber is. I just saw this in one of the benches at Welli's botanical garden and it somehow reeled me in. I wish I knew Mr. Bamber. I wish I made him laugh. John Turner was lonely. At night he has a hard time sleeping. He worries a lot. He worries if everyone is ok. He worries if he had done anything wrong. He wonders why despite all the laughter, he isn't happy. He wonder what if he can't make us laugh anymore, would we still be there. But heck, John Turner made us laugh.

Two weeks ago, I went to Wellington to visit a friend and to regroup (although there were plans of going to NZ before, this was not that plan. I also booked it on my birthday, just to use the birthday gift excuse). No itinerary, except to eat and eat and eat and probably drink, because that's how life is supposed to be, amirite? View from Mt. Victoria Lookout I was told that it would be rainy during the days that I'd be there (well.... maybe I was told that it would be effing cold and windy but I refused to listen), so I just bought enough "Spring" clothes (shorts and cotton shirts). And yup, I should have probably listened carefully. Tagos sa buto ang hangin beh. Ngatog buong katawan.  It was indeed Windy Wellington. As usual, 2016 being 2016, earthquake on my 2nd night, then strong gale (it was the first time I heard of gale, kala ko typo lang ng hale, haha ), non-stop rain, and lots of aftershocks. Very exciting indeed. Good thing I had 10 days to sp...

It's been a while since someone has apologized to me for making me feel awkward, for saying something out of line, for offending me, or for just simply unintentionally hurting me. And this makes me think that my feelings are invalid.

A photo posted by Abi Corpus (@absilog) on Aug 23, 2016 at 4:34pm PDT By the title alone, it seems like I live a very pathetic life. I lasted a month, but for 3 weeks in that month, I was questioning a lot of things. Did I make the right decision? Is this worth it? Am I a failure if I quit? What would happen to me? I wake up every morning forcing myself to be positive but end up questioning my choices before I go to sleep. There was a time where I was crying as soon as I left the building (but yeah, I was literally sick back then). The people were nice, the job was relatively ok, the pay was enough for basic necessities, I was doing well, but something was just off. It just suddenly hit me, For the first time in my working years, the job and the working environment just wasn't for me. This experience has a silver lining though. I realised that I need to stop settling for what is available, and look for what I really want. I mean I don't know what I really...

It's officially 2 months and 5 days since I arrived here in Melbourne. My body is still getting used to it though (TMI: haven't had my period since April). So far so good. The housemates have been great. I know I went here alone, but I'm glad I have friends who can act as my support group. So yeah, I guess I'm not *that* brave. I do have my moments. I'm still not use to living without a job since I have been supporting myself ever since I've entered "the real world". But the good thing is, there are a lot of things to discover. I guess living in the suburb makes going to the city an adventure. I still learn something new every time I go there. I had more dessert shakes in those 2 months than I had in the last year, also non fast-food burgers. Haha. It's a great place to take pictures too. I'm excited for sunnier weather because it has been gloomy most of the time (especially when I remember to bring my camera). Anyway, here's some of my...

Now, whatever you read happened a long time ago, and I have learned my lesson. So if you're wondering if I'm ok, in this aspect, I am... In other areas, I guess I'm a work in progress. LOL. So yes Ma and Pa, just in case you get to read this, please don't worry because I know better now. I decided to write this post because of everything that's been happening.. the Stanford Rape case, defense to cat calling, viral facebook posts. I swear, I should stop reading comments. --- There's a facebook post going around about a girl being harassed by people she knew and even considered one of them as her friend. I don't know the whole story and I don't know the people involved, but as usual the thing that pisses me off are the comments. 1. You could have left the car (or other things that she should have done) 2. You were laughing in the video, how can you say they were harassing you? (there was an 8sec video inside the car where the victim was laughing) ...

Oh hey! I moved out of the country. As much as I love the Philippines, I decided to try my luck down under. It wasn't planned or anything. I just tried my luck and with pressure from friends and proper preparation, here I am. Seriously though, I do consider myself lucky for being given this opportunity. I was kind of hesitant at first because 1) It's scary and 2) IELTS. But being able to come here is just half of the battle. Being able to live here is the next half (I guess? LOL). I'm currently in the process of job hunting. Hopefully I get one soon. This change also made me realize a lot of things. Made me think about the things I thought I won't be able to do or accomplish. You see I'm a pessimist. There are a lot of things that I wanted to do that I don't think I can. My usual reason would be I'm too old, or I don't have enough time or worst... I'd rather sleep. But being here made me hopeful. I want to travel, I want to dive (despit...

In line with the #TBT hashtag, my lack of old decent pictures, and my goal to update this blog often, here are throwback posts that features a series of my favorite, embarrassing, and memorable blog posts. ---  Dear future boyfriend, Today is Valentine’s Day and I’m spending the evening with Logan watching The Ultimate Fighter. You’ll get to meet him soon, and you would love him like I do.

I always make up scenarios and conversations in my head or stories that I know I'd never get to finish (or things I know I never have the courage to say or do). I have this dream of writing a book or at least conceptualize a romcom-ish story. Far fetched but who knows maybe one day... I could at least store them somewhere instead of replaying them in my mind. 

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food." -George Bernard Shaw

So I finally deactivated my Facebook account. Yay? Did not know it was this hard. LOL. I plan to come back after the May elections. Deactivating it made me realize how much time I spend scrolling and browsing my feed and falling for click bait articles. It's been.. I think a bit more than 2 weeks and I'm actually getting a hang of it (thank you snapchat for keeping me company).

I have always steered away from extreme feelings. Certain emotions that can make you feel vulnerable and act stupidly (basically all). But I recently just realized that you can't box up certain emotions because it will come back biting you in the back. Confuse you until you end up doing something even you can't explain. I may say I don't like having feelings, but I do have them. It's a different story when we talk about on how I act on them. I'm not saying that my actions are valid. Sometimes they aren't. I wouldn't tell people to act the same way I do. But it's done already. And honestly, right now I don't know what to do. I would like to think that I have released all my emotions and feelings in this trip. Sang my heart out and ate my feelings. I doubt it though. It's still not clear, even to me, how I and what to feel. If it's actually good or bad. But I'm sure it does not taste like that big ass baked oyster. Good thing, in...

Dear 2015, I'm sorry I took you for granted. I'm sorry I thought that time flew fast. I'm sorry for looking forward to 2016 so much that I forgot to thank you. It has been one hell of an amazing roller coaster ride.