She had dreams where she can jump as high as she can. Sometimes as high as the clouds. She can jump so high, but she can never fly. She has to come down at some point in time.

She had dreams where she is free falling from the sky, not knowing from where, not knowing where she'll land, just falling, falling, falling through the clouds. Doing nothing except wondering when and where she will land.

She had dreams where she is running away, not knowing from what. Running so fast that her leg hurts and she's having a hard time catching her breath. But not to the point that she can not run anymore.

The uncertainty in her dreams reflects in her real life. That's why sometimes she doesn't want to sleep, or stay awake.

"You see those stars? They say those are Thiazi's eyes"


"Father of Skadi, who is the step mom of Frey"

"Ah.. I don't know what you're talking about"

"There are other worlds out there, and I find it sad that we're just stuck here."



"I don't believe in other worlds. I think this IS it and I wouldn't have it any other way."

It's actually hard to write about 2016. I guess we all know how 2016 really is. It wasn't that great tbh. But guess what, we survived. I guess that counts for something.

It was the year I stepped out of my comfort zone and I'm still adjusting. Being far from home isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I miss my cats, family and friends. Back home, I was never alone and lonely at the same time (or at least I can't remember the last time), but I felt it this year. Not to mention the passing of one of my favorite people, my Lolo. I was so scared of how 2016 was turning out to be that I was so paranoid, I thought that anything I do would turn out really bad. It's like the whole year was in mercury retrograde.

I don't know what is in store for me in 2017 but I hope it would be awesome. I mean the last 2 weeks of 2016 was actually better than what I have expected. I'm crossing my fingers that it continues to go up next year.

So how can I wrap up this year? Well honestly, despite how vocal I am about hating 2016, it's really not that bad (I'm trying to be positive here ok?). I do have a couple of things that I'm thankful for.


Here are the things that made 2016 suck less!

Photo generated from 2016 best nine

1. Learning to practice meditation - I have been really anxious the 2nd half of the year. The anxiety had different manifestations but usually it's the I-can't-sleep-at-night effect. I worry about a lot of things, preparing for different scenarios that might happen, thinking of quitting and just going back, etc. So I tried different things, and the most effective one was meditating. I have used Calm before but did not stick to it. I tried it again this year, and forced myself to push through. And true enough, I had better sleep than before. I mean it's not foolproof, and I haven't really mastered the practice (I still get distracted) but it does help.

2. Churches - I am not a religious person, but I'm also not a non-believer. I just have my own ways of practicing my beliefs. But being here, far away from my family, my cats, and my friends, I have found comfort in prayer and churches (not to mention the church architecture here is awesome). I have also found time to light candles for my grandparents. I guess praying for them somehow makes me feel that they're watching over me and that sets my mind at ease.

3. New found friends and getting in touch with the old ones - I only had few new friends the past few years. I usually cling to those who stuck by me for better or worst (I'm annoying that way). So it's hard and nerve-wracking for me to reach out and socialize and meet new people (it used to be so easy!). That's why I'm thankful for those that I met along the way that continues to reach out to me. Asking how I am and if I needed help or just to chat. Also those friends that I haven't kept in touch for so long but still had the same effect when we got in touch and made me realized that I never really lost them. I may not show it that much, but I appreciate it.

4. Support across the sea - Like I said, I wonder what I did to deserve this love. Siblings asking if I need any help, parents asking me how I'm doing, random messages from friends, etc. Thank you technology gods for making it easier. I must admit that it made me miss you guys a lot and was this ->|| close to packing my bags and going home to hug you all, lol. But you have noooo idea how much your support and messages has helped me power it through. You believed in me more than I believed in myself and that made all the difference.

Special mentions:

  • Good food
  • Finally a job that I'm doing what I want to do (YAY!)
  • Re-learning the theories of Java Programming LOL
  • Exploring new places, and still being able to travel
  • "quitting" cigs, great beers
  • finally being able to enjoy running/walking/dying for 5km, 
  • laneways, winter boots
  • my child like abilities to be amazed at the tiniest things
  • Korean variety shows.

Oppa, and a cat. What's not to like?

It might seem not much, but it is for me. Those items on the list made 2016 bearable.

2017? I stopped doing resolutions, but yeah I hope whatever good I started this year, I could continue it next year. I guess that's it, WE SURVIVED 2016!!!!

We were supposed to watch a late night movie but your car won't start so we just stayed there. Instead of going back inside, we lost track of time discussing things that we never get tired of talking about and the topics that branches out of that, basically talking about everything and anything.  Before we knew it, the sun was almost rising and our throat's about to dry out.

"You always force me to do things that aren't part of the plan"

"You can always be firm in saying 'no'. But you're too easy to break."

"It's because I get to spend that time with you"

And that's when I realised that I love you. No, I actually already knew, but more of convinced myself to accept that I do love you. And I may regret it, but I did not say anything.

I just smiled and dozed to sleep.

John Turner made us laugh.
He knows the right witty lines to say.
He brightens up your day with his quips and jokes.
He is loyal and would do anything to bring a smile to your face.
Life of the party, that is John Turner.

I'm in no way related or know who Mr. John Turner Bamber is. I just saw this in one of the benches at Welli's botanical garden and it somehow reeled me in. I wish I knew Mr. Bamber. I wish I made him laugh.

John Turner was lonely.
At night he has a hard time sleeping.
He worries a lot.
He worries if everyone is ok.
He worries if he had done anything wrong.
He wonders why despite all the laughter, he isn't happy.
He wonder what if he can't make us laugh anymore, would we still be there.

But heck, John Turner made us laugh.

Two weeks ago, I went to Wellington to visit a friend and to regroup (although there were plans of going to NZ before, this was not that plan. I also booked it on my birthday, just to use the birthday gift excuse). No itinerary, except to eat and eat and eat and probably drink, because that's how life is supposed to be, amirite?

View from Mt. Victoria Lookout

I was told that it would be rainy during the days that I'd be there (well.... maybe I was told that it would be effing cold and windy but I refused to listen), so I just bought enough "Spring" clothes (shorts and cotton shirts). And yup, I should have probably listened carefully. Tagos sa buto ang hangin beh. Ngatog buong katawan. It was indeed Windy Wellington.

As usual, 2016 being 2016, earthquake on my 2nd night, then strong gale (it was the first time I heard of gale, kala ko typo lang ng hale, haha), non-stop rain, and lots of aftershocks. Very exciting indeed. Good thing I had 10 days to spend.

So what to do when you're in Wellington?
  • Te Papa Museum - One of the best museums I've been to. Well, I really haven't been to a lot. It could take the whole day though. I wasn't able to visit all the exhibits, but enjoyed those that I did. 
  • Parliament Tour 
  • Wellington Botanic Garden 
  • Mt. Victoria Lookout
  • Weta Workshop Tours
  • War Memorial Park
  • Old St. Paul Cathedral
  • Wellington Museum
  • Tambay tambay sa Queens Wharf, people watching ganern.
Where to eat and drink?
  • Lounge Bars!!! You know the type of bars where you don't have to shout to hear each other? Very apt for the lola in me. 
  • There are a lot of beer places too if you love beer
  • Kazu Yakitori & Sake Bar
  • Charley Noble
  • Tommy Millions
  • Flight Coffee Hangar
  • TK BBQ Buffet - Of course I have to have korean bbq. It's similar to Donday with lesser options but I love that they have odeng and tteokbokki.
  • And there are food trucks around the Wharf on weekdays
  • BLACK PUDDING!! Blood sausage
Transportation's quite expensive compared to Melbourne though, but you can walk around the city which is actually pedestrian friendly (so be sure to wear walking friendly shoes). There are also activities that can be done outside Wellington, but yeah, lapit lang daling balikan. Chos. 

Looking at my list, I guess I did a lot considering the circumstances. We did went around Paraparaumu too. There are probably other things to do but sometimes it was better to stay inside and watch korean drama and youtube videos. LOL. The only thing I regret missing was the Carter observatory. I can't even remember the last time I went to a planetarium (loljk, I remember, it was in 2nd grade). And I'd probably want to re-watch the LOTR series before visiting Hobbiton.

And to end this post, PICTURES!!

Coffee tasting at Flight Coffee Hangar

Gallipoli exhibition at Te Papa

And here's a calf whose eyelash is better than yours. Not from Welli, but in the far away land of Paraparaumu

I probably passed by this one more than I remember. 

Botanical Garden. #insertdeepquote

Old St. Paul Cathedral.

'Ge lang bes.
And here's a picture of a cat. Just because. <3

It's been a while since someone has apologized to me for making me feel awkward, for saying something out of line, for offending me, or for just simply unintentionally hurting me.

And this makes me think that my feelings are invalid.
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